Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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