the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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