maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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