i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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