he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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