you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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