i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
