? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
