There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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