dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Can I color on your dick again?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
