I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
