i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
That's an oxymoron.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.