Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.

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  (415): Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel. http://tfl.nu/yxi6
  Replies (7) Good night (912) Bad night (540)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.

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  (717): i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does. http://tfl.nu/p0z8
  Replies (14) Good night (1846) Bad night (3495)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny

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  (304): As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny http://tfl.nu/vl4i
  Replies (15) Good night (4175) Bad night (1104)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.

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  (610): you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster. http://tfl.nu/4s0b
  Replies (10) Good night (1212) Bad night (3946)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave

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  (630): all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave http://tfl.nu/0ff9
  Replies (10) Good night (2910) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?

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  (805): Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement? http://tfl.nu/mmb3
  Replies (21) Good night (4186) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.

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  (217): I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart. http://tfl.nu/psm5
  Replies (6) Good night (2160) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.

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  (240): im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself. http://tfl.nu/qkn1
  Replies (2) Good night (967) Bad night (2413)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...

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  (214): I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex... http://tfl.nu/zoqe
  Replies (4) Good night (1896) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?

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  (613): Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you? http://tfl.nu/o3d1
  Replies (4) Good night (1728) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being

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  (904): Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being http://tfl.nu/rzj7
  Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.

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  (316): Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say. http://tfl.nu/5ny3
  Replies (10) Good night (920) Bad night (638)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.

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  (603): If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it. http://tfl.nu/n6dm
  Replies (3) Good night (501) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?

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  (803): Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right? http://tfl.nu/7twp
  Replies (7) Good night (273) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?

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  (505): After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run? http://tfl.nu/593o
  Replies (3) Good night (214) Bad night (836)

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