Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying

(203): View more from Connecticut

but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she

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(301): she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying (203): but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she http://tfl.nu/l9o1

Replies (34) Good night (4752) Bad night (1053)
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(315): View more from New York

I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance

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(315): I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance http://tfl.nu/rrp5

Replies (56) Good night (5787) Bad night (1011)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl

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(+44): it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl http://tfl.nu/hhri

Replies (16) Good night (1300) Bad night (4440)
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(805): View more from California

Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?

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(805): Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...? http://tfl.nu/0j4d

Replies (20) Good night (3478) Bad night (2398)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up

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(630): I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up http://tfl.nu/11fq

Replies (3) Good night (2400) Bad night (1153)
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(585): View more from New York

that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag

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(585): that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag http://tfl.nu/7pz9

Replies (11) Good night (1552) Bad night (3917)
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(206): View more from Washington

What should I wear?

(808): View more from Hawaii

Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar

(206): View more from Washington

I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."

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(206): What should I wear? (808): Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar (206): I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys." http://tfl.nu/2bo9

Replies (5) Good night (3494) Bad night (932)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.

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(304): I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud. http://tfl.nu/1ldm

Replies (8) Good night (2393) Bad night (1308)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.

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(301): Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip. http://tfl.nu/7yby

Replies (65) Good night (3232) Bad night (5451)
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(323): View more from California

Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?

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(323): Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you? http://tfl.nu/qb3x

Replies (26) Good night (962) Bad night (2554)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now

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(704): I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now http://tfl.nu/20zt

Replies (1) Good night (593) Bad night (743)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just feel like everything is too perfect

(774): View more from Massachusetts

He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Or both. Which is common

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(413): I just feel like everything is too perfect (774): He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator (774): Or both. Which is common http://tfl.nu/4u8t

Replies (4) Good night (1301) Bad night (553)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey

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(787): I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey http://tfl.nu/3kl5

Replies (5) Good night (619) Bad night (694)
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(845): View more from New York

There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!

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(845): There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here! http://tfl.nu/1ha2

Replies (2) Good night (419) Bad night (650)
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(802): View more from Vermont

It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind

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(802): It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind http://tfl.nu/l4my

Replies (1) Good night (229) Bad night (377)

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