My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
