he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This can only be settled by a dance off.