He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.