He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
