i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.