You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize