you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
