plz talk dirty to me
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
