Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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