Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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