i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
