If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
