I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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