Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
