I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
this just has baby written all over it
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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