Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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