Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize