...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Randomize
