No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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