reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize