i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize