That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
