i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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