I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
