I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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