But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
