how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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