Why are handjobs necessary in class?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
