if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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