benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
