i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize