You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
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My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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