So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
