Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You are the jesus of drinking
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
