white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
