Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
