We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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