I don't think brook has ever known best
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
