Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
