So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I CAN MOONWALK!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Randomize
