Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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