The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
