Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
