Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize