have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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