So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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