when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
