she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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