I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
