If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize