He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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