the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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