Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
