I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
