After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
