he referred to my room as the tit cave...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
