Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you win again, gameday.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize