Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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